Just when you thought the catching a ball with a baby in your arms thing had been done to death, this dad came along and brought it back to life, only to kill it for good with a Fonzie-level dose of cool. Fonzie is still cool right? I’m old.
He doesn’t even stand around long enough to take a bow, or even let the security guy slap him on the back. He’s way too cool and doesn’t have time to let his new fans tell him how great he is. He probably had to get back to his seat so he could finish carving out his shark-shaped canoe with the knife George Clooney made for him when they were hunting lions in a place us regulars have never even heard of. Guys, I’m afraid I may not know what’s cool anymore.
But this guy is cool, that’s an easy one. Dads are the coolest, and this man is our king today.
[MLB Cut 4]
The first pitch is one of the weirdest traditions in sports, really. I have no problem with it, per se, but I don’t know why it’s still a thing. There’s no first pass in football. No first layup in basketball. Maybe hockey or soccer or some other sports do things that I don’t know about, but I don’t care to know either, so I’ll assume baseball is the only one that does it.
I suppose it can be fun for fans occasionally, but does anybody really get anything out of seeing some pop star or reality star or doctor that buys ad space lobbing a ball toward the backup left fielder? Not unless they are really bad at it. Like, really bad.
With that in mind, I guess 50 Cent did about the best thing possible here. This throw is so bad that it had to be on purpose.
That was on purpose, right? Nobody ever knows he was even there if he throws a strike. Now, we all know. That’s marketing, friends. Marketing is stupid.
There is one other option, I suppose. Maybe, just maybe, nobody has ever told 50 Cent that he’s not left-handed. The same thing happened to Tim Tebow, so it’s not that crazy.
“Quit while you’re ahead” is something that I have been told many times. Usually by my wife. I usually don’t quit. You know why? I’m stupid, that’s why. Also, because I like sports and in sports, you don’t quit while you’re ahead. You get ahead, then you try to get more ahead.
This guy got so much ahead that he was worried about killing his opponent, or at least causing serious harm, so he quit and it’s really quite awesome.
His logic is stunningly simple. Basically, he said they aren’t getting paid and his opponent didn’t realize he was in danger, so he tapped out to keep him out of the hospital. Because sportsmanship.
Take note of that, everybody that plays the Cubs. You can quit when you’re really far ahead and people will think more of you because of it.
[For The Win]